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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2644 - Threads: 66
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

[Edited by Guile on 20-10-2018 14:41 PM]

Hi, and a warm welcome to:

Mexican Wave
"YOU ARE THE..."

Brought to you by the makers of the popular hafa thread series:

Badoom tish!
"WHAT'S MY CRIME?"


This series of threads will put you in different situations were you must use your Criminal Anthropology skill set to achieve success.

In this week's episode...

Mexican Wave Mexican Wave

"YOU ARE THE... INVESTOR"


It's a hard task to get a top return on your money year after year, and those investors who manage to do so become celebrated. Their philosophies and strategies are studied by others hoping for similar success, and their holdings and comments are subject to endless scrutiny.

You have recently received a cash legacy from a long lost maiden aunt and have decided to INVEST it for your future. You have put the word out and have been approached by six candidates each with what sound like sure fire winning schemes.

Luckily you are a student of Criminal Anthropology and know that jug ears, long arms and a bald head [for example] are blue chip indicators of criminality; so you quickly realise that only ONE of the following has a genuine business idea and the others are fraudsters who will be away with your cash to the Costa del Crime before you can say "¡Olé!".

You go to the meet with your briefcase of cash all ready to hand over, it's crunch time - which one you going to INVEST your £20,000.00 with?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand
HERE WE GO!

Lets play:


Mexican Wave Mexican Wave

"YOU ARE THE... INVESTOR"


WILLIAM

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HELEN

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JAMES

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SAM


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ANDREW

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DAVID

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Remember: It's just for fun.

I will publish the results of everyone's investment decisions next week.


Bury head in sandFor players who are new to the Theory of Criminal Anthropology, [where have you been?] here are some crib notes:

Anthropological criminology is the study of humans and criminals, based on links between the nature of the crime and the appearance of the offender. According to this theory the following details are common in all criminals:

Unusually short or tall height; small head, but large face; fleshy lips, but thin upper lip; protuberances on head, wrinkles on forehead and face; large sinus cavities or lumpy face; tattoos on body; receding hairline; bumps on head, particularly above left ear; large incisors; bushy eyebrows. these tending to meet across nose; large eye sockets, but deep-set eyes; beaked or flat nose; strong jaw line; small and sloping forehead; small or weak chin; thin neck; sloping shoulders, but large chest; large, protruding jug ears; long arms; high cheek bones; pointy or snubbed fingers or toes.


"WHAT'S MY CRIME?"

Full Archive:
Episode #1
Episode #2
Episode #3 PEDO HUNTER
Episode #4
Episode #5 BAD GIRLS
Episode #6 VICTORIAN SPECIAL




"YOU ARE THE..."

Full Archive:

#1 THE INVESTOR
#2 THE BEST FRIEND
#3 THE DRUG DEALER
#4 THE CRIMINAL MASTERMIND

KING CON

Full Archive:

KC Ep#1 KC Bonus#1
KC Ep#2 KC Bonus#2
KC Ep#3 KC Bonus#3
KC Ep#4 KC Bonus#4
KC Ep#5 KC Bonus#5
KC Ep#6 KC Bonus#6
KC Ep#7 KC Bonus#7
KC Ep#8 KC Bonus#8

though i spend my time in ashes and smoke
in this whole wide world there's no happier bloke

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Old Post20-04-2018 10:08 AM
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Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

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Fuck... They all look well dodgy.

William - Just looks a bit of a cunt.

Helen - Well shady.

James - Never trust a porker with your money.

Sam - Looks like Heisenberg

Andrew - Looks like an older, overweight Matt Dahl!

David - Ahh, see this is where you try and throw us.


I'm going with David. He looks well dodgy but he probably has previous for cat rape and not money theft or fraud.


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Old Post20-04-2018 13:27 PM
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Quin.
???

Registered: Oct 2010
Posts: 33300 - Threads: 425
Location: london

Quote:
Latex Zebra wrote on 20-04-2018 01:27 PM

Fuck... They all look well dodgy.

William - Just looks a bit of a cunt.

Helen - Well shady.

James - Never trust a porker with your money.

Sam - Looks like Heisenberg

Andrew - Looks like an older, overweight Matt Dahl!

David - Ahh, see this is where you try and throw us.


I'm going with David. He looks well dodgy but he probably has previous for cat rape and not money theft or fraud.




My god so he does!

I'm still trying to figure this one out, they all look dodgy as fuck and David has popped a semi just by being in cuffs...


"1984 was not supposed to be an instruction manual"

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Old Post20-04-2018 14:08 PM
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Quin.
???

Registered: Oct 2010
Posts: 33300 - Threads: 425
Location: london

They are all shady as fuck but I reckon Helen needs the money to put down for a deposit on a brothel that will turn out the cash so i'll go for her.

"1984 was not supposed to be an instruction manual"

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Old Post20-04-2018 14:13 PM
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2644 - Threads: 66
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

[Edited by Guile on 20-04-2018 23:47 PM]

Quote:
Quin. wrote on 20-04-2018 02:08 PM

David has popped a semi just by being in cuffs...



hahaha

though i spend my time in ashes and smoke
in this whole wide world there's no happier bloke

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Old Post20-04-2018 19:28 PM
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Coops

Registered: Jul 2003
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No can't decide they all look proper shady.
I'm going with Andrew, not that I think he looks trustworthy, just slightly less dodgement than the others.


I've got chickens in my back yard

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Old Post21-04-2018 18:22 PM
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pieman

Registered: Mar 2013
Posts: 2532 - Threads: 4
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[Edited by pieman on 24-04-2018 00:18 AM]

[Edited by pieman on 24-04-2018 04:42 AM]

They all look proper dodgy, but I'm going to plump for cunty-jacket wearing Andrew as the best of a very bad bunch, although he does still look incredibly shifty and may well be chatting with his brief on the steps of the court.

I considered going for Sam, as he's wearing well-fitted clothes and waving cash about but then he also looks like he's seen the inside of a prison cell or boxing ring a few times, probably a mob boss.

William looks like he may have been respectable at one point but has since been sucked into some kind of fraud.

Helen looks liek a bad Claire King tribute act who enjoys lots of gin.

LZ can chiv the rest of them for all I care.


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Old Post24-04-2018 00:16 AM
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Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
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Location: London



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No disrespect to HF but this needs a bigger platform. A FB Group or something.


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Old Post24-04-2018 10:48 AM
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pieman

Registered: Mar 2013
Posts: 2532 - Threads: 4
Location:

Quote:
Latex Zebra wrote on 24-04-2018 10:48 AM

No disrespect to HF but this needs a bigger platform. A FB Group or something.



I don't do FB, it's shit and full of cunts.

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Old Post24-04-2018 11:01 AM
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Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15055 - Threads: 338
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

Quote:
pieman wrote on 24-04-2018 11:01 AM

I don't do FB, it's shit and full of cunts.



Then... Or something. Razz

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Old Post24-04-2018 12:54 PM
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