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HarderFaster Forums >> General Mayhem >> KING CON - Episode 5: Give the dog a bone

 
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2648 - Threads: 67
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:4


You may struggle without the correct training and background in Criminal Anthropology. Play catch up:

Here with: "YOU ARE THE..."
&
Here with: "WHAT'S MY CRIME?"

The people named and their crimes as detailed in this thread are real. They have all been found guilty in court. On occasions jurors have deliberated over the evidence. In each case, a judge has decided their crimes are so serious that only a custodial sentence will suffice. The scenario covered in this thread may be offensive or disturbing to some readers. It is a work of fiction and for educational purposes only. No identification with places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. No person or entity associated with this thread received payment or anything of value, or entered into any agreement, in connection with the depiction of tobacco products. No animals were harmed in the making of this thread.

Ready?
Well let's play:


KING CON


Have you got what it takes to rise like the scum you are to the top of the rancid pool that is H.M.P. Hafa Towers?


Each episode will give you choices to make, relying not only your Criminal Anthropology skill sets you will have to lie, bribe, cheat, intimidate, claw, gouge, shank and strangle your way to the top of the shit heap.


CAN YOU BECOME:

KING CON


In previous episodes...

...You blagged your way onto the Vulnerable Prisoners Unit and shanked one of those pedo's right the fuck up. You then framed one of the prison top dogs for the stabbing. You recruited some cronies to enforce your will and cover your back. You coerced a screw into bringing you gear into prison.

You're starting to look like a man who can do whatever he fucking likes.

After all this work you want some serious relaxation. You need some loving. What you want is A BABE WITH PASSION, A WOMAN ON FIRE, A SEXY SIREN TO DRIVE YOU WILD.

A BAD GIRL WHO DOES BAD THINGS



H.M.P. HaFa has a women section - Category A.

Quote:

Category A prisoners are those whose escape would be highly dangerous to the public or national security. Offences that may result in consideration for Category A or Restricted Status include: (Attempted) Murder, Manslaughter, Wounding with intent, Rape, Indecent assault, Robbery or conspiracy to rob (with firearms), Firearms offences, Importing or supplying Class A controlled drugs, Possessing or supplying explosives, Offences connected with terrorism.



Seriously mad bitches then! Your pet prison officer can get you into and out of the women's wing for a night. They are not happy about it, but what can they say?

Quite a lot as it happens. They point out that some of these girls are mean. Meaner than blokes. Prison Officers have been found seriously mutilated in the past having fallen for the charms of one of these sirens.

This however adds to the thrill of it all. You want bad girl loving.


Aaaaand you wants fucking lots of it


Using your Criminal Anthropology skills study the mugshots of female prisoners below and pick the most PSYCHO BITCH.

One that might cut your dick off halfway through jumping on her bones. Uggers or not, your reputation will go through the roof!

There is no right or wrong answer, you need to draw on the knowledge life has given you and all you have learned from the last two terms of your course in Criminal Anthropology. Each decision you make will earn you RESPECT points. These points added together will determine the winner of each episode. At the series end the highest scoring convict becomes...


KING CON


Shag one of the Psycho Bitches from the Women's Wing and yes, you'll be the man, dog! & If you can handle it - a plus one?

Ready? Well, let's play:


KING CON


Who are you going to bang into the middle of next week:

HAYLEY



AIMEE



MICHELLE



SIMMONE



KATHY



BRENDA



KATIE



Remember: It's just for fun Wink


I will publish the results nest week.

Pro-tip: THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES IS MORE DEADLY THAN THE MALE




Very often in women the criminal type is disguised by youth: the lack of wrinkles and plumpness of youth mask the size of the jaw and the cheekbones, softening the virile and savage aspects of the features. When the hair is abundant and black and the eyes are bright, these criminals can even present a pleasant appearance. Moreover, sex appeal may affect the students judgement, encouraging him to think erotically and making the offender seem more beautiful and free of degenerative traits than she really is.

Cesare Lombroso 1893


WHO WILL BE...



KING CON


Find out - only on Hafa!

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Old Post05-09-2018 23:54 PM
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Latex Zebra
Yeah, something is probably happening somewhere.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 15056 - Threads: 340
Location: London



Poll Winner!
2016
óò
Winner
KING CON
Joint Winner
Day Party - Alumni
Honourable Mention
Tune - Mind Shift - Luke Warner and Latex Zebra
Winner
DJ
Winner
Resident DJ
Winner
Party Animal
Winner
Club Night - Zoology 15

They all look fucking mental in their own way. TBH, I want to pick the woman who bottled that lass in the gif posted. She looks like the lady for me.

But I suppose...

Hayley: Pretty in her own way and you'd certainly get some respect for nailing a pretty lady. Not sure she is proper mad though.

Aimee: Bit uggers but looks like she'd probably fuck someone up for mentioning her complexion.

Michelle: Giving it the evil in court. I bet she didn't when they sent her down. I bet she cried like a fucking baby. Not convinced.

Simone: Seems unremarkable.

Kathy: Looks young. Even if she is fucking queen psycho I can't be knobbing someone that looks young enough to be my daughter. I'll be shanked in no time.

Brenda: Looks quite wholesome.

Katie: Here we go, slightly twisted dead eye look, not too uggers.

Katie... Be mine.



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Old Post06-09-2018 11:39 AM
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voodoobass
a table, mes enfants...

Registered: Sep 2003
Posts: 33893 - Threads: 985
Location: somewhere else

'Hayley' looks like someone who used to post on HaFa regularly

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Old Post06-09-2018 20:10 PM
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pieman

Registered: Mar 2013
Posts: 2532 - Threads: 4
Location:

[Edited by pieman on 07-09-2018 20:15 PM]

Quote:
voodoobass wrote on 06-09-2018 08:10 PM

'Hayley' looks like someone who used to post on HaFa regularly



Sharona? Her mugshot looks like an ad for a 70s-cop-porn show, which I'd happily watch. Doesn't look particularly crazy, unless not getting her own way.

Aimee looks like the estate bike, and while she might chin you for suggesting so she's easy enough to dominate.

Michelle strikes me as legit cold and evil, couldn't give a fuck about you or life.

Simmone and Brenda look fairly ordinary, often the worst kind tho. Brenda however def has some mad shit going, could be out the gate if all the makeup doesn't slow her down. Simmone is today's hapless ringer.

Kathy is some kind of demon child who would slice my old fella off before I'd even got him out.

Katie looks too obvious, prob putting it on.

I'll take my chances with Michelle, but if Hayley ever gets bored she is welcome to join me in the chapel for 'Bible study' anytime she likes.

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Old Post07-09-2018 16:44 PM
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voodoobass
a table, mes enfants...

Registered: Sep 2003
Posts: 33893 - Threads: 985
Location: somewhere else

[Edited by voodoobass on 10-09-2018 11:58 AM]

This week's challenge kinda reminds me of flicking through the hideous rogues gallery that is the "PLENTY OF FISH" dating website.
Also a bit of a challenge insofar as what might work for me on "the outside" may not be the same as who I'd pick as a partner if I was looking to form Her Maj's Prison Service POWER COUPLE for some Bony and Kaleidoscope type shiznit. If I was going on personal taste I'd probably pick HAYLEY (especially if she had a cute Welsh accent - I love me a cute accent) or BRENDA, who reminds me a bit of Leslie Ash before she went under the knife.

However, this is THE CLINK so I've got to think about STRATEGIC ALLIANCES.

Instantly, I dismiss KATIE - she looks too out of it. Not only would she be like a sack of spuds in the bedroom, but you could probably get her to stab someone on your behalf and thirty seconds later she'd have forgotten all about it. Head is in the clouds. Feet, also in the clouds.

SIMMONE - Looks like on the outside she may have worked for Foxtons estate agents, driven one of those little bug-eye Fiats with eyelashes stuck on the headlights and enjoyed horse-riding. Her square jaw does indicate a cruel streak, but I'm guessing she's pro fox hunting and cruelty to animals rather than humans to keep her head level. Worth considering for a roll in the hay at some point, perhaps, however I don't think she looks batshit psycho enough to be in the running for membership of the POWER COUPLE.

AIMEE - looks the most violent of the lot, and would be my first choice if I was recruiting for the ladies rugby team. If it came to actual violence, she looks like she'd be sobbing and crying whilst lashing out at all and sundry with a carving knife. Great if you need extra muscle on a job. But more blind rage than premeditated murder, so probably unreliable on a job.

So, I've narrowed it down to two:
MICHELLE looks like a proper schemer. And she has Cruella DeVille hair - sinister as f**k. But not particularly sexy either unless you're into GILFy older women. But then in power alliances, attraction usually plays second fiddle to winning an endgame, so there's that to consider. However, she looks like she could turn on you at any minute, like a viper.

KATHY has youthful looks, therefore probably a lot to learn about LIFE. I can definitely see evidence of capacity for cold-hearted MURDER; definitely looks a bit stabby. A proper 'Daddy' in her life could see her blossom into a fine figure of a Queen Crim. However, do I have time to groom her to psychotic, yet loyal perfection?

So, a tough choice.
Do I pick the one that's ready to go, but might prove treacherous down the line, or spend a while shaping the other up to be the perfect Partner in Crime...?


...





AAAAAND the eventual selection is KATHY. I just can't get into the whole Cruella hair thing. Plus I've a pathological fear of snakes.

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Old Post10-09-2018 11:57 AM
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voodoobass
a table, mes enfants...

Registered: Sep 2003
Posts: 33893 - Threads: 985
Location: somewhere else

Quote:
pieman wrote on 07-09-2018 04:44 PM

Quote:
voodoobass wrote on 06-09-2018 08:10 PM

'Hayley' looks like someone who used to post on HaFa regularly



Sharona?



nah not her

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Old Post10-09-2018 11:58 AM
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Coops

Registered: Jul 2003
Posts: 18540 - Threads: 513
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[Edited by Coops on 11-09-2018 09:09 AM]

[Edited by Coops on 11-09-2018 09:10 AM]

There are some right dick melters there.

Aimee looks like a nutter.

There is something not right about Michelle.

Simmone is probably a good choice but there is something abut her that reminds me of Jada from Britain First. Not I don't mind a bit kinky but I wont be able to shake that image.

Kathy looks like another nutter, she is also very young looking Having just got rid of one nonce I don't want to be accused of being one myself.

Brenda isn't too bad to look at but I think she may also be a nutter so I am putting her in the same box as Aimee.

That leaves Katie and Hayley.
Both look like they could be fun in the (mail) sack.

After a mass debate I have decided to go with Hayley and may good have mercy on my Percy.



I've got chickens in my back yard

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Old Post10-09-2018 20:10 PM
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wykah
What would Macgyver do?

Registered: Jul 2005
Posts: 8035 - Threads: 437
Location: Hackbridge, Surrey

Round 1, quick tinder style elimination
Hayley, swipe right
Aimee, swipe left and pray she doesn't invade my dreams
Michelle, swipe left, she's got attorneys protecting her
Simmone, I could swipe left as many times as I'd want, I don't think it would register with her
Kathy, swipe left quickly to avoid the nonce vigilante groups
Brenda, go to swipe right but do an image search on google just in case, realise her past then quickly swipe left
Katie, swipe right

So two make it through to round 2.
Katie looks like she spends too much time in bars.
Hayley looks like she spends too much time in coke.

So I'm choosing Katie on the basis I'd rather give up some of my alcohol than my supply.



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Old Post10-09-2018 22:02 PM
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voodoobass
a table, mes enfants...

Registered: Sep 2003
Posts: 33893 - Threads: 985
Location: somewhere else

WHOA hold the phone.
I just realised I misread the brief and it's a one-time thing.

In which case sack all that power-couple shit off, my choice is HAYLEY for a bit of casual rumpy-pumpy.



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Old Post11-09-2018 14:39 PM
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Guile
A magnificent animal of a man

Registered: Sep 2001
Posts: 2648 - Threads: 67
Location: A wretched hive of scum and villainy

Quote:
voodoobass wrote on 11-09-2018 02:39 PM

WHOA hold the phone.
I just realised I misread the brief and it's a one-time thing.

In which case sack all that power-couple shit off, my choice is HAYLEY for a bit of casual rumpy-pumpy.



Oh dear.

Let's see what KATHY has been reading in the library lately...



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Old Post11-09-2018 15:49 PM
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