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Wok
de baddest an de ruffest man ere

Member ID: #18355
Date Registered: Tuesday 19th July, 2005
Last Activity: Wok is offline   Logged Out
Total Posts: 8761 (1.28 /day) (View Chart)
Total New Threads: 234 (0.03 /day) (View Chart)
Profile Views: 17460 (View Chart)

Wok's vital statistics
Age:74
Background: Of Oliphants and String

''Leave the frog alone, my precious, else you hurt it and it cannot return to its home.''

''I want it. I found it and it's mine,'' the sweet tone that had once been his now resonated with disdain. '' 'Sides, it's an oliphant and I'm tamin' it.''

''Where is your cousin?'' she changed the subject.

'' 'Dunno,'' he whined. ''Can't always watch 'im.''

''You went to the river with him, didn't you? Isn't that where you found the frog?''

'' 'Dunno. And it's an oliphant. I tied it up tight with this here string and now it can't get away. It's mine, it is,'' he whined even more miserably.

''Where is Déagol?'' she asked, her tone now harsh.

He turned towards her, eyes flashing with hate. ''I don't know!'' he screamed.

A moment later, they came into her smial and brought the body before her. She saw the handprints on the boy's throat. Shivering, she called his name, but he had disappeared. She wondered where he had gone to, but grief swept all other thought from her.

For months after that, unease swept through her village. She was its head, its guardian, and she knew the cause. At last, she confronted him.

He denied the murder, the thefts, the eavesdropping, the tortures... everything and so she ordered him banished.

Watching as he bundled a few rocks, shells from the river, string and various dead bugs into his bedroll, she held back her tears. Once she had such dreams for him. The frog had long since died else she knew he would have taken that too. She offered food - he spat at her. She closed her eyes. She would not watch him walk away. But others did and shouted obscenities at him.

Forgotten forever was the sound of his sweet voice.
Birthday: 14th March 1950
Build: fatty
Hobbies: lulz + cæk
Home Town: a bad man place
Job: spy, a sinecure lol
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy
Marital Status: very happily married
Smoker / Non-Smoker: always south farthing weed - never any seeds
Currently Listening To: dozey rascal
Music PreferencesOld Skool, House, US Garage, UK Garage, Club Classics, Electro, Hip Hop, R&B, Dancehall / Bashment, Reggae, Dubstep, Disco, Soul.

Wok's contact details
Homepage http://www.funny-games.biz/animations/47-love.html
Email not available
Private Message Click here to send a Private Message to Wok
AIM Screen Name: AND, i have a monkey.
MSN ID: leet
Yahoo ID: Swing your partner round and round
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Loves & Hates Loves Hates
Band: howling wolf gollum and the misty mnt. blues bandU2
Club: osgilliath centre for performing arts gondor outdoor pavillion.
Clubbing Moment: bubble cascades&lasersbeing a little sick in fabric&getting thrown out
DJ: billy ''sly eye'' fernygandalf the white
Drink: yellow teadamn i liek fire water now
Food: thaielfin way bread
Label: mordorvalinor
Producer: sarumanradagast the brown ¬
Saying: 0ne ring to pwn themdo i know you?
Tune: got the goin' to mordor bluesgoldberry in the sky with diamonds
Venue: shelleys, near cirith ungolye olde oak, lothlórien
Charts  
Current Chart Return:

bitchez don't kno 'bout my delishus cæk. that shit was so cash, d00d/

Top Tunes of all Time: between friends.

he loved me as a brother
for him there was no other
through thick and thin, we'd laugh, we'd cry
but on this day - his turn to die.

presents given, presents received
a small gold band - friendship deceived.

sunshine bright and water clear
fish and fun and laughter dear
but in the end, an evil wrought
i killed him quick - he hardly fought.

i'm cursed by all, loved by none.
burning band, my life undone.


gutted, lol




an unmarked stone stands before a weeping willow near gladden fields, surrounded by a circle of buttercups. a ring for a ring, of sorts.

none but he who left it would name it a gravemarker.

sméagol sees it sometimes, in dreams. often in those early months he would paw at the ground in his sleep, feel the clammy neck under his fingers. when he wakes those flowers plague his sight.

over the years, as gollum has wrestled sméagol for control of their mind, the vision becomes a second's flash. a blinding gold, naught more. yet it is always there.


if only


...when bilbo awoke beneath the mountains, he wondered if he had opened his eyes. it was completely dark. he moved his hand in front of his face, but could see nothing. he was completely alone in the blackness.

he listened, but utter silence surrounded him. there was no sound of any living thing – not even the drip of water.

slowly he moved forward, groping his way along the passage. his hand fell on something small, round, hard. It felt like a ring – but what would a ring be doing here in the passages of the orcs?

ignoring it, he moved on...
Top Non-Dance Tunes: prick your finger it is done
the moon has now eclipsed the sun
the angel has spread its wings
the time has come for bitter things


Thing is, i nevAr guessed it would be quite so bitter...


i've forgotten you just like i should,
of course i have.

except to hear your name
or someones laugh that is the same.

but i've forgotten you just like i should.

i get along without you very well, of course i do.

except perhaps in spring, but i should never think of spring.

for that would surely break my heart in two.


on days like these when skies are blue and fields are green
i look around and think about what might have been
and then i hear sweet music float around my head
as i recall the many things we left unsaid
its on days like these that i remember
singing songs and drinking wine
while your eyes played games with mine

on days like these i wonder what became of you
maybe today you are singing songs with someone new
i'd like to think you're walking by those willow trees
remembering the love we knew on days like these
its on days like these that i remember
singing songs and drinking wine
while your eyes played games with mine

on days like these i wonder what became of you
maybe today you are singing songs with someone new

Top Films: THE GOIN' TO MORDOR BLUES:

(Lyrics by Howling Wolf Crybaby Sugarfoot Gollum
Copyright 1481 SR)

Well I'm goin' down to Mordor,
'Cause the Master told me so,
Well I'm goin' down to Mordor,
'Cause the Master told me so.

Yes I'm a-goin' to get my ring back,
I gotta pick up my feet and go.

Well it was taken by the Hairfoot,
Oh so long ago.
Oh you know it was taken by the Hairfoot,
Oh so long ago.

Oh Lord don't hold me back now,
'Cause I ain't to far for to go.

First old Bilbo he stole my ring,
Then he tooks it to the Shire,
And now little Frodo's got it,
He's gonna throw it in the fire!

Oh Lord I'm goin',
Goin' down to Mordor town,
And if'n I can't gets my ring back,
Lord it's time to lay me down!

(spoken) lol lol, that's right.


Top Books: what was it? what was this fumbling about on the gravelly strand that edged his lovely dark waters? it was not a goblin, he could see that, yes he could see it and it could not see him. gollum's pale, large eyes narrowed with thought.

it was not a goblin, yet not a monster of any kind either. he sniffed the air that it stirred up, sniffed scents of pipesmoke caught in woolen twists, campfire and the tang of mountain air washed in rain. what was it, that sat flummoxed upon the pebbly shore? a tiny glimmer of something shone in the recesses of gollum's mind, glimmered and was lost; a firefly at midnight, quenched... an ember of some fire long forgotten lest it burn. he frowned, and sniffed again.

it spoke. not goblin-speech, no.... he knew the words, understood them. he was drawn to it, as a fish drawn to the wiggling tips of fingers because it seemed as the memory of something else, something real, filled with substance.

he dipped his hands in the waters and paddled them a bit. perhaps he would find out.



Predictable perhaps, but these guys can write as well as bilbo, truth be told?

i prefer their wr0k.


Sauron:
''The Sweetest Guy: The Morgoth I Knew''
''Númenor: My Part in its Downfall''
''Queer Eye for the Eye Guy: Fashion for Those Without Bodies''
''How to win Staring Competitions''
''Spiders – the Perfect Pet''


Gollum:
''Crouching Stoor, Hidden Preciousss''
''100 Ways Not to Cook Fissh''
''A Niiice Fissshhy Named Wanda''
''No Nets Needed! A Fishing Guide''


Saruman:
''Of Many Colours. The Wizard's Guide to Tie Dye''
''Me, Myself, and the Ithryn luin''


Witch King of Angmar:
''My Life as a Dead Guy''
''Men in Black''


Smaug:
''So Many Dwarves, So Little Time''


Lobelia Sackville-Baggins:
''Traditional Cutlery and Flatware found in The Shire''


Edward ''Ted'' Sandyman
''Modernising Your Mill – a wind of change''


William ''Bill'' Ferny
''I hate Applez!''


Dægol
''Friends aren't Forever''


Smægol
''Days with Grandma by the Beach''
''Survivor: When You Are Voted Out of the Village''
''In Cold Mud''

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